Yesterday my grandfather died after being out of the hospital for two weeks. Upon his release the doctors said he wouldn’t make it past two more months maximum. We left for France the same day. When we came back on Sunday I got to visit him again for what would turn out to be the last time. He looked so much worse than before we left and I remember thinking this for sure could not go on for much longer at the rate he was worsening.
When I got the call four days later a lot went though my mind. A lot of sadness mainly. I truely think it is the first time in my life that I lose someone I love so deeply and for months now I knew that it would hit me hard when the moment came.
But I also felt a lot of gratitude. Because considering we all have to die one die, I truely believe that this is the best way: old, surrounded by the people you love, at home with as much comfort as possible, just feeling and knowing you are done. My grandmother proved herself a saint in these last months, but especially in the last weeks. The way she took care of him is so inspiring. She really was his nurse, but not 8 hours a week 5 times a day. But 24/7, like 4 nurse shifts wrapped up in one person.
All my life, ever since I was a little girl, I have seen my grandparents fight. It seemed to be all they did: cursing and fighting and nagging at each other, but when push came to shove, these people love each other. And she always choose what was best for him, because I feel that was the only way she could live with seeing her partner die.
On the way over to my last visit with my grandfather I finished my audiobook of ‘The Poet X’. I guess I liked it in the end. I almost gave it four stars because I liked the way it ended, but ultimately I decided it didn’t make up for everything that felt off in the beginning and middle of this book. It all felt very easy, like it was written to be an easy hit for 15 year olds, which is quite insulting to that demographic in my opinion.
Throughout the week the kids and I wrapped up our read aloud book ‘Sprookjes met de Kleur van Henna’ (Fairy Tales with the Color of Henna – free translation). They gave it three stars, which kind of surprised me because they seemed so crazy about it while reading, but it is pretty much what I would have given it too. This is great news because I picked up a modern translation/retelling of the classic ‘The Little Prince’ and I cannot wait to dive in with them.
On our last day in France, Zeno’s pacifier broke and we went to buy a new one, when I discovered a whole set of The Little Prince themed ones. I couldn’t resist, or choose, and bought them all. It feels like forever ago that I read the book and none of my children even knew about it, so I just knew it would be our next read. We started Tuesday evening and everybody is very eager to continue.
I finally started my temperature blanket after finding the last color I needed on monday. I will post an update when I finish up January. I made it 175 stitches wide and am using a 6mm hook with worsted weight yarn. The plan is to make it our new couch blanket, so I want it approximately as big as a queen size bed.
In between all that I made a lot of progress with my Maia cardigan. Just today I finished up my second ball of yarn. I have 5 balls reserved for it. My plan is to now first finish off the sleeves, so I have an idea of how much yarn I have left to make the body of the cardigan longer. Ideally I can make it till it reaches halfway down my butt, but I wouldn’t mind if it turns out a little shorter.
Helena already informed me that I will be making her the exact same one after. I think that means she likes it.
– three of the most beautiful pacifiers in the world
Books & Babies 